On BECs and social media messiness

First written on April 17th.

Last month I learned what a “bitch eating crackers” is. I never want to have one.

For the uninitiated, a BEC is someone you dislike so much that everything about them annoys you. The titular example is that you can’t help but call them a bitch even if all they’re doing is eating crackers. (“Ugh, look at her over there chewing, with her mouth closed. How dare she.”)  You develop a negative emotional response and reinforce it all the time.

If you have a BEC, you might bristle when they say something you’d cheer on your own friend for shouting. You might hate them for doing something you yourself do regularly. It’s not about the action or its motivation — it’s about how deeply you’ve already decided you don’t like the actor.