Thank you for acknowledging this duality. I’ve always had animals in my life and found them to be life affirming and then I got a dog who for the first year was a sweetheart turning into an anxious reactive time bomb at the age of one. He’s 7 now and to say that he’s caused family strain is an understatement. I have to manage his environment all the time, no days off, no relaxing the vigilance. He isn’t life enhancing but he’s my responsibility. When he’s had a good day I do feel some measure of satisfaction.
This hit hard — especially the part about feeling shame when dog ownership doesn't feel effortless, like you're the only one struggling. I grew up with dogs my whole childhood, and I always assumed having one as an adult would just be an easier version of that. It's not. I've got one now alongside three young kids, and honestly some days I can't tell if the dog is helping me hold it together or adding one more thing that needs holding together. Both versions have been genuinely hard in their own way — just differently. Thank you for being honest about the bitterness too — that's the part most people won't say out loud. Scout is lucky to have someone willing to do the hard, unglamorous work of actually understanding her instead of just loving the easy parts.
Your story sounds so familiar. My sweet but very anxious epileptic former feral street puppy from Taiwan died in March. For 12.5 years I dedicated my life to all her special needs, never left her alone her whole life for more than a couple hours except two overnight trips for a family emergency and a family wedding. I gave her her 6 pills twice a day right on time.
I’ve never cried so hard and so often as I have since she died. I think the drain on my immune system from the constant hypervigilance is what made me susceptible to contracting a rare chronic antibiotic resistant mycobacterial lung disease.
In her last 2 years she miraculously stopped having seizures…but developed urinary incontinence requiring diapers indoors. Her lifetime medical and insurance costs were close to $70,000 (a third paid by me). And yet if i could have her back for a few more years or months i wouldn’t hesitate! I think I’m ready to find a new dog but please God not another project dog!
The dog I have right now was the worst mistake I've made. She is sweet and playful and loves everyone. She is a doodle. She also barks constantly and the only peace I have had in my home for 5 years is when she is staying at a friend's house. I feel so guilty and sad for her for articulating it here, but it is the truth.
I LOVE my dogs, but the first year of raising my ridgeback was sooooo stressful. And the year my coonhound found a house under the house and spent a literal full year trying to break into the crawl space and bite electrical wires to get to a mouse was STRESSFUL. They bring so much joy to me, but it’s not all roses and I love that you bring it up! A lot of people go into getting a dog without ever thinking about potentially long seasons of stress with them.
Thank you for acknowledging this duality. I’ve always had animals in my life and found them to be life affirming and then I got a dog who for the first year was a sweetheart turning into an anxious reactive time bomb at the age of one. He’s 7 now and to say that he’s caused family strain is an understatement. I have to manage his environment all the time, no days off, no relaxing the vigilance. He isn’t life enhancing but he’s my responsibility. When he’s had a good day I do feel some measure of satisfaction.
I so feel for you. Mine has made my life miserable.
This hit hard — especially the part about feeling shame when dog ownership doesn't feel effortless, like you're the only one struggling. I grew up with dogs my whole childhood, and I always assumed having one as an adult would just be an easier version of that. It's not. I've got one now alongside three young kids, and honestly some days I can't tell if the dog is helping me hold it together or adding one more thing that needs holding together. Both versions have been genuinely hard in their own way — just differently. Thank you for being honest about the bitterness too — that's the part most people won't say out loud. Scout is lucky to have someone willing to do the hard, unglamorous work of actually understanding her instead of just loving the easy parts.
Your story sounds so familiar. My sweet but very anxious epileptic former feral street puppy from Taiwan died in March. For 12.5 years I dedicated my life to all her special needs, never left her alone her whole life for more than a couple hours except two overnight trips for a family emergency and a family wedding. I gave her her 6 pills twice a day right on time.
I’ve never cried so hard and so often as I have since she died. I think the drain on my immune system from the constant hypervigilance is what made me susceptible to contracting a rare chronic antibiotic resistant mycobacterial lung disease.
In her last 2 years she miraculously stopped having seizures…but developed urinary incontinence requiring diapers indoors. Her lifetime medical and insurance costs were close to $70,000 (a third paid by me). And yet if i could have her back for a few more years or months i wouldn’t hesitate! I think I’m ready to find a new dog but please God not another project dog!
Having cattle dogs can be so rewarding because their loving & hilarious personalities…but that occasional stubbornness!!!
The dog I have right now was the worst mistake I've made. She is sweet and playful and loves everyone. She is a doodle. She also barks constantly and the only peace I have had in my home for 5 years is when she is staying at a friend's house. I feel so guilty and sad for her for articulating it here, but it is the truth.
I LOVE my dogs, but the first year of raising my ridgeback was sooooo stressful. And the year my coonhound found a house under the house and spent a literal full year trying to break into the crawl space and bite electrical wires to get to a mouse was STRESSFUL. They bring so much joy to me, but it’s not all roses and I love that you bring it up! A lot of people go into getting a dog without ever thinking about potentially long seasons of stress with them.