My relationship might be most romantic when it isn't

Thoughts on "romance" and definitions and connotations and personal values

Sometimes I think my relationship with Sean seems incredibly unromantic. We got close when I had a “thing” with his best friend. I cried about my ex-fiance during our first one-on-one hangouts. We finally went on a real date after I wrote a massive letter in the notes app of my phone… and handed it to him to read in my shabby kitchen while I busied myself at the counter. (I felt terribly awkward.) One of my favorite conversations was the devastating one where we acknowledged breaking up was a real possibility. Two years later we got engaged with a ring I knew he had—I’d ordered it online myself, actually—and his proposal lasted about five seconds. We got married on a beach ten feet away from little kids building sandcastles and middle-aged vacationers drinking beer. Our reception featured Chipotle takeout. Today we live in less than 70 square feet, manually change our toilet compost every three months, and (yes) use the aforementioned toilet in front of each other.

When I stack all the…